Life’s Too Short and Too Grand..

Posted on November 11, 2012 by Henry Velez

"Life is too short to put up with selfish people."In this life, we meet all sorts of people.   Hopefully we have someone close enough to us as a life-mate that we can trust with our life and future.   And then we have close friends, also trustworthy in times of adversity and there to genuinely celebrate life’s little joys with us.  Beyond that we hopefully have cultivated an even larger circle of acquaintances, with whom we’ve fostered a good reputation as a decent person.  Among these we learn from and contribute into their lives whenever we can.  We make their life better in some way, and they do the same for us. Continue reading →

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Time in the Bank

Posted on November 6, 2012 by Henry Velez

A few events and conversations came together this morning for me. As though by design they’ve led me to articulate yet another session of pondering into this article. The issue that kept reinforcing itself was the matter of ‘time’.

Sitting on a blanket at the park one day, my girlfriend (of the time) and I were talking about events past, present and future. We both agreed that people who live out their life with a malicious, selfish heart are pretty much insulated from enjoying life for any prolonged period of time. No amount of goodness injected into their life seems enjoyable to them since they only find joy in seeing others in pain or distress. Continue reading →

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Respect

Posted on November 6, 2012 by Henry Velez

Much has been said, here and elsewhere, about the importance of communication in keeping a relationship functional and healthy. But something happened over the weekend that brought the issue of communicating into focus. The issue of respect.

Many times the problem is that one partner wants to discuss issues as they occur whether they be mutual decisions, feelings or problems while the other responds minimally if at all in the discussion. But it was a different scenario I overheard from my window on a warm, Sunday afternoon as my neighbors were getting ready to leave for the beach. Continue reading →

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Online Dating Services: Pros & Cons

Posted on November 6, 2012 by Henry Velez

Ask someone what they think about using a ‘personals’ ad and you are likely to get into as big a discussion as religion or politics. Perhaps because it is viewed as anything from tampering with fate to a practical way of meeting that elusive mister or missus ‘Right’.

Let’s begin with what’s out there. Before cyber-space became publicly available the penpal, or ‘lonely hearts’ clubs have been around since the 1950′s. With the proliferation of the newspaper into society it was now possible to centralize ads from a variety of places into one location where anyone could easily and anonymously make known their search for companionship.   Continue reading →

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‘Machismo’: What is it?

Posted on November 5, 2012 by Henry Velez

I’m torn as to whether this topic is more sad or humorous. It concerns the issue of ‘Machismo’. At least that’s what it’s called in Latin cultures and many parts of North America. Loosely defined it is the label used to describe that standard by which many men rate their own masculinity. Their virility, strength, ability to stand up against difficulty and maintain their stance as true “men among men”. Continue reading →

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Beyond Mutual Desire

Posted on November 5, 2012 by Henry Velez

In an earlier article we took a look at ‘mutual desire’. Here we’ll focus on what follows after the issue of ‘mutuality’ has been established. During the process of finding a lifelong helpmate we go through certain phases in developing the relationship. Though there are many we’ll just look at those that apply to our topic at hand. Continue reading →

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Mutual Desire

Posted on November 5, 2012 by Henry Velez

Being as how this was an abnormally busy week I found myself with lots of ideas running through my mind and little time to write them out, articulate them or even discuss them at length with anyone. But one common thread ran through the various ponderings and it came down to the issue of ‘the desire for love’.

Mother Teresa, known for her work among the leper colonies and providing care to the sick and dying of India, once said, (to paraphrase..) “Leprosy is not the worst plague to happen to mankind. It is instead to go through life unloved.” Continue reading →

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My Own Thoughts On, “The Ugly American”

Posted on October 11, 2012 by Henry Velez

There is a book titled, “The Ugly American” which was later adapted to a movie starring Marlon Brando. Essentially it is a fictional story of two sets of Americans in an Asian country and the way cultural tensions are handled by each. (to greatly understate the plot). But the reason I reference it is because for years we Americans have always had strong opinions, and stereotypes, about the foreigners who come to live in our land.. and that is aside from whether they came here legally or illegally. Many people just mentally lump ‘foreigners’ all into one pile. Continue reading →

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When The Light Comes On

Posted on October 8, 2012 by Henry Velez

It’s amazing how much your perspective can change with some good conversation and a plate of manicotti. I was having dinner last night with a good friend of mine and we got to the subject of ‘giving and taking’ in a relationship. In that context we remarked how so often what is obvious to those outside a situation is not so obvious to the people involved. In particular when it comes to behaviors that are self-defeating no matter how much advice, counseling or ‘hard knocks’ come their way. Continue reading →

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What Do You Want?

Posted on October 8, 2012 by Henry Velez

After several discussions with various people during a recent vacation I’ve come to a disturbing conclusion that continues to show itself repeatedly through the years. It is the great disparity that exists between what we ‘say’ we want and what we actually ‘do’ when we have a choice set before us. I’ve been noticing this for years but over the last three days this subject has shown its imprint on almost every situation I’ve either experienced or had recalled to me in private by others. Continue reading →

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What Can I Do Today?

Posted on October 8, 2012 by Henry Velez

What I am about to relate may well be considered foolish by some and controversial by others. And with good reasoning I suppose. Foolish in that even I have no good defense with which to defend my methodology. Controversial in the sense of what one must do when conscience prods a person to do that which is plainly right.

There is a song I enjoy by Amy Grant which has the following lyrics; “I’m talking ’bout the soul all alone/ Needing the daily bread,/ Someplace to lay his head. / And I’m talking about the neighbor on your street,/ Won’t you look him in the eye,/ Take time to speak./ That’s mercy../ Tell me, ‘What can I do today?’ ” (**) I enjoy a lot of her music, but this one is just one of my favorites. Continue reading →

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The Wandering Eye

Posted on October 8, 2012 by Henry Velez

Among the many things that can ignite a heated discussion on an otherwise peaceful day is the issue of the ‘wandering eye’. Our make-believe couple, Jim and Heather, are walking down the street hand in hand on a Saturday afternoon. As Heather is talking about the various things that went on during the week Jim turns his head to take an extended look at the pretty girl who just walked by. Heather catches him, Jim denies it and next thing you know Jim’s wandering eye has just earned him Heather’s cold shoulder. Continue reading →

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A Life Without Regrets

Posted on October 7, 2012 by Henry Velez


“Omnia Vanitas”. This is the recurring phrase in the Latin translation of a very short book titled, ‘Ecclesiastes’. Though some may differ, it is my opinion (and there is good evidence for my position) that this book was penned by none other than Solomon the Wise. I’ve read this book repeatedly over the years because when the man considered to be the wisest of the ages takes time to write something down.. I want to understand what he wrote. Translated, he repeats this theme in his accounting of all that goes on in the lives of men as they toil under the sun.. “All is in vain.”. Continue reading →

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Being Aware

Posted on October 6, 2012 by Henry Velez

I had an interesting day today. It brought to mind a line used by Al Pacino in the movie, ‘Scarface’… “Every day above ground is a good day.” I arrived at work today after an extended Memorial Day vacation. Getting into the breakroom at work, I was there perhaps only ten minutes when I overheard an urgent call come over my co-worker’s walkie-talkie. (He happens to be on the Emergency Response Team) It sounded like the message was extremely urgent. Continue reading →

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The Synergy Effect on Relationships

Posted on October 6, 2012 by Henry Velez

Synergy is a funny thing. It basically says that “1+1=3″. How can this be? Well, simply put, synergy is the observation that two agents combined produce greater results than could be obtained by those same agents separately. Let’s say you wanted to plant a garden but there was a huge boulder in the center of your selected location. All you have on hand is one match and one stick of dynamite. Continue reading →

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